Wednesday, March 31, 2010

GRAHHHHHHHHH.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS BOTHERING ME LIKE CRUHHHHHRAZZZZZYYYY RIGHT NOW! and i know i shouldn't be feeling like this because this week is PASSION WEEK and i really should be focusing on what God has done for us.. FOR ME. SO WHYYYY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS. grah. BLAH. BLEH. BLECHHH. vomit.


girls are seriously so annoying. SO ANNOYING! i can be so far away from them and they're still annoying! BLAH! i'm annoying too! i have issues! girls have issues! YAY.


i'm sorry jason for blaming everything on you.

i'm sorry God for not trusting in you enough and always getting angry. thank you for loving me. sighhhhh.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

lalalaaaa

i wanna sing!

i miss the days when i used to sing a bunch during college. haha, it was only for fun, but i really loved it. i miss it. i miss singing in the car while driving. i don't have a car and i'm living in the city now, so there's no more of that. i miss having somebody play guitar and just singing along. maybe i feel like this because i watched american idol yesterday and today. or maybe it's because my throat is so itchy scratchy and i keep coughing and i wish it would feel better? WHO KNOWS. LALALALAAAAAA.

i wanna sing 'use somebody' while somebody plays guitar. haha. this entry is so random, but i LOVEEEEEEE ITTTTTTT~! sometimes i wish i had a youtube channel where i can just post up videos of me doing covers. but i would privatize those jawns because people would rip me apart. ye ye ye yeah yo. jason bought me a guitar for my 22nd birthday and i don't even use it. sorry my dear. one of the strings popped so i need to replace it. it wasn't one of the nylon strings so i'm essssssited. it can be easily fixed i believe. if i stop being so lazy and just get it done. and then.. i would have to foreal learn how to play. sighh.. too much work. now i'm just rambling. YAYAYAYYYY!

lets singgggggggggggggggggg. pahaha.

and i decided that i'm going to post a really random picture(s) every time i write an entry. so here are my random pictures for the day (or night... or morning.. who knows).


this is at my senior prom HAHA. with sherri and steph. they were some of my favs. wish i talk to them more.


this was WAYYY back in the day. sigh.. haha we were all so happy. i want to be happy like this every day! :D i love these girlllllls. <3 <3

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

pet peevies.

If you were ever wondering what my pet peeves are....

1. Don't make me out to be stupid. Don't make me feel stupid when I'm not. Don't look at me like I'm stupid when I'm not. ex. I'm all heated up talking about a certain issue that's happening and every one around me looks at me silently only because I speak my mind too much and I might sound a little harsh. Just don't do it.

2. Don't tell me to "calm down" or "chill out" ESPECIALLY when I'm already CALM or CHILL. Even when I'm not calm or chill... just don't do it. It's lammmmeeeeee-o.

Those are my two pet peevie weevies. if you accidentally do any of these two to me, i might go ballistic on youuuuus. :D

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

jealous??

you should be jealous that you don't have a sister like MY sister.

she's always been the strong one out of all of us. she's played so many essential roles in my life. she has been the mom, the supporter, and the best friend. she speaks only the truth because she loves me (even though it hurts sometimes). she has been the pusher in my life. the person who always pushes me to be better. she deals with and LOVES me when i'm a brat. she gets hurt by me sometimes because i'm insensitive, but she always tells me that she loves me afterwards. to me, my sister feels like home. i'm sitting in her apartment right now, 2am in the morning, and i've only been here a few times. although this place shouldn't feel like home, it's where my sister is and so it will always feel like home to me. i'm lucky to have her. whenever i feel down, i can just remember that i have a sister who everyone is jealous about.


thank you my unnies for loving me and pushing me to memorize bible verses. i loves yous everydays.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

for me.

i find it funny.

i find it funny that whenever something goes right in my life, i immediately throw my hands up and profess my undying love to God. when something doesn't go right, i automatically shut myself down and tell God that I'm bitter, angry, pissed, want to punch a baby when it comes to Him. And then something good happens, and then i'm back to OHHHHH I LOVEEEE YOUUUU. it's a cycle. not a good one.

i realized that i need to delight in the Lord always. not only during those good days or good times. ALWAYS. yeah, i find it hard to delight in Him during the worst of times, but honestly, those are the times when i need Him the most. And this delight can't be forced. i need to fully enjoy delighting in the Lord. nam sayin'? I've been trying really hard to do this for the past few weeks and let me just tell ya that it's pretty hard. but if life was meant to be easy, then we wouldn't learn anything right?

also i decided a couple weeks ago that for the rest of lent, that i would give up saying these phrases: "I hate my life" "I hate myself" "I want to kill myself" "I want to die" or anything along those lines. So, if anybody reads this blog, please keep me accountable because for those of you who know me... i say these phrases A LOT.

and this entry is for me. if somebody comes across this blog and doesn't approve of my faith-- too bad. so sad. these are MY thoughts and MY blog. so goodbye to you. :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

it's march.

it's march 1st. well actually, it's really march 2nd and I'm still in the same place that I was since I graduated in may. it's been more than nine months and it's still the same. same same same. same old same. i would elaborate on what i'm feeling right now, but i really just don't want to think about it anymore.

so that's all i had to say. it's already freaking march.