here we are agaaaaaain.

so here we are once again. i have realized that i have way too much clothes in my closets and drawers. jason, taeyee, and i went to ikea to eat cheap yummy foodies and we ended up walking around, looking at the different layouts for bedrooms, kitchens, and living rooms. Jason was looking through the closet space in each bedroom and was like, "Sunnie, none of these would hold any of your clothes." And when your fashionista manfriend tells you that the amount of clothes you have is borderline ridiculous... i think it's time to do something about it.

Soooo. ONCE AGAIN, I will try my hardest to NOT buy clothes so that I can try to wear every article of clothing in my closet/drawers. I shall document it on here for myself so that I can really force myself to do this. :)

This was what i wore to ikea. haha. and i used my mac to take the pictures because my camera sucks major donkey balls.

The angle i took this picture makes me look like a heifer but whatevs. i also added a thrifted granny sweater that soo graciously gave me :) lovie loves.

american apparel calvary twill pleated pants, old forever21 black sheer turtleneck.

I was gonna upload a video of me singing grenade hahaaaaa, but i sounded dumb and the audio wasn't matching the video so whateva skanevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS WOHOHOHOHOHO!

LALALA!

via sartorialist

AHHH! In another three or four years, i promise myself that i will go short again and cut my hair like this. i can't wait. muhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa. okbye.

depressed dark world.

i should be all happy jolly because i'm on break (not officially since i need to write a few papers due by friday heh heh), but i'm just not feeling it right now. i was so exhausted from nannying in the morning today that i slept until 2pm when i got back. i felt like little miss lazy bonesssssss.

i was gonna share some pictures of me and jason when we went to peddler's village this past saturday, but i'm feeling tired. hahaha. so i guess i'll do that some other day for those few who actually read this blog (probs only chris park HAHA).

i will share some photos that i've been enjoying these past few weeks:

via oracle fox

the last three photos were taken from studded hearts

i love the last photo. i want to find a dress exactly like that, marry in it, and live with it on for the rest of my life. i feel like it would definitely be possible to find at a thrift store. good thing i will be going thrifting with my hannies on wednesday :)

sorry blogging world for being probably the only wannabe fashion blogger turned depressed beyond all words blogger. haha if that even made any sense. i started up this blog to try and become some sort of fashion blogger, but it really just became a place where i splattered all my feelings and it turns out that most of my feelings are pretty dark or rather depressing. haha i'm a failed wannabe fashion blogger, who really doesn't have good fashion sense, but loves victorian dresses. oh man, i'm a mess. and i have alligator skin all over my right hand because i constantly try to wash all the "germs" off my hands. after i graduated college i started to become obsessive about keeping my hands clean. i've gone mad. oh well.

i need jesus.

SICK OF EVERYTHING.

i'm seriously done with everyone and everything. i think i need to get my degree, move to cali, and never look back. THE END OF MY SAD STUPID STORY.

jason.

you're the best. i love youuu.

shopping addiction.

HALLOWEEN IS FINALLY OVER. THANK YOU LORD.


anyway, i just wanted to say that I have a MAYJAH shopping problem. when it comes to the point where clothes are lying all around in piles because you're afraid to hang anything up in your closet because the iron bar with superman strength that is supporting all of your clothes is groaning EVERY single time i even open the closet door........... these are probably clues and signs that i either need to throw some things out or STOP BUYING CLOTHES!

well, i'll probably never stop buying clothes or throw anything out... so maybe i should get another closet?? HAHA.

ANYWAYYYYYY. Jason bought me 13 movies from blockbuster the other day (the blockbuster i grew up with and went to everyday of my life is still going strong) and i watched 11 out of those 13 movies so far. HAHAH. I shouldn't really have done that because all of these school assignments are looming over me like heavy grey clouds and in just a second i'm gonna get shat on. ohwell. i'll get to it soon.

jason took me to eat at ihop today because i love him and i'm sad to say that it was really disappointing!!! denny's is so much better hands down! but i still got to eat the breakfast sampler with sausage, ham, bacon, eggs, and hash browns. i even ate all of my pancakes... and i don't even like pancakes!! yummmmmmmmo.

today was a good day even though i didn't get to spend time with my hannies and i had these awful cramps that would NOT go away. now i will go through my closet, try to get rid of my clothes, give up, and then watch a movie. :)

halloween.

can i just tell you that i've never really minded halloween. i used to love it. i used to go trick or treating until high school HAHA. i went to blue bell country club where all the ballas at. we used to get king sized chocolate bars from all those rich folk. AHH good times.

i am sad to report that halloween has become the most hated holiday for me. i think after working retail for so long, i'm so done with people. i hate that people think american apparel is a halloween store. haha. i mean, we get lots of customers and we be making the monies, but COME ON. so many people are like, "HEY, where are your wonderwoman costumes?" today i told this girl, "well, we're not a halloween store, so we don't have a one piece wonderwoman outfit for ya, but we do have..." she was shocked that we didn't have actual legit costumes. AMERICAN APPAREL ISN'T A HALLOWEEN STORE. holy MAJOLES!

HAHA so that's the end of my story. I was going to make my post all cynical and bitter like they normally are, but i actually lost one of my 12 followers... probs cause i'm so depressed all the time. HAHAHA. now i'm down to 11 and they are all friends. :) pahaa.

anyway, so i'm going in to work on saturday from 2-10ish and we get to go in costumes as long as they are tasteful. i was just going to be boring and be a plain jane ballerina, but i changed my MINDDDD. i'm gonna be morticia addams!!

i was gonna go with more of a deep purple/black lipstick, but red is my true love.

YAYY!

i'm gonna go crazy with the make up around the eyes and red lipstick muheahahehaehehahehahaehaheah!

okay bye.

some musics.

alright this girl is foreal a bit weird... but she has a killa killem voice!!



and i just love this song. hahah.



That's all for now. sorry for the depressing posts recently. hohohohehahahahefefeafafa!

blech.

i hate the world right now. i hate it.



i'm so emo. what in the world.

take me far far away.

okay, i know i just posted something, but i'm just too obsessed with my new and improved blog (thanks to hannie woo) that i wanted to post again. HAHA. i'm so kewl on a friday nightttttt. afterwards, i will probs go through my entire wardrobe and try on clothes because i'm so hip hoppin. and then i'll get tired and fall asleep leaving my room a mess! i lead such an uneventful life. whatevs skanevvvvs.

so, i suddenly had an urge to go somewhere special. i want to take a crazy vacay somewhere i've always wanted to go to. sighhhh so i proceeded to look up some google images of switzerland, ireland, paris, and greece. HAHA. i saved some special ones and i promise you someday, i WILL go and experience everything myself.

sighh. paris, france.

fraaaaaaaaaance.

some village in switzerland. sighh.

switzerland i die.

greece. i want to swim in that water... kinda. not really. but still sooo pretty. i wonder if there are shark infested waters there..... hmmm.

i love you greece. one day. you will be mine.

all mine.

town in ireland.

UGH I WANT TO BE HERE SO BAD.

one day i will prance around in this exact area in ireland wearing a floral dress and a granny sweater while laughing at life. oh one day i shallllllllll.

time to go through my clothes now. my life is so exciting!

ugh.

ughhhhhh. ughhh. ughhh. ugh.

i'm feeling so bothered lately. i think i really hate change. i think that's it. i don't like when people enter my safe zone when they are not wanted. blechhhhhh. i feel so irritated. it would've been good if i went to small group today.......


i think i'm really overprotected over my friends. i don't like when they make other friends. HAHA. so selfish i know. and my friends don't even act like my friends anyway. i always get ignored (not on purpose, but ignored nonetheless), they forget to include me in things, and now i'm known as jason's girlfriend. it's not like i went to college with everyone and spent 4 long years together with everyone. yup, i guess that didn't happen. they just have to pass on the info to jason and somehow, somewhere it'll get to me. that's not how things work. i'm my own person dammit! I am! ha. anywhoo.

this is what i get for being only friends with guys. so it's really my fault anyway. maybe i should move to a different city and start fresh? haha. i don't even know what i'm talking about. i don't even care. because when it comes down to it.. even if i push myself away from them, i guess they'll always be considered my friends. whatever. nobody's coming to my wedding. HAHA.

i'm such a sourpuss lately so i suggest everyone should just stay away from me.

some pitchers (photo credit: weheartit):

whooo boy.

yeah she needs to eat a burger.. but i loves her.

kelly osbourne with dusty rose hair. i wish i could do this to mine.

models make me happy.

abby lee street style. she's so cute.

leo dicaprio circa romeo and juliet. the only time i was obsessed with him.

i love.

why couldn't you have stayed like this forever.

i will marry him. no questions asked.

hahah remember this?! I used to watch this show all the time when i was younger. HAHA.

and now i will play with desi unnie and baby dylan. goodbye.

masta woo.

so let me just tell you how awesome hannie woo is because she always revamps my blog. i love her. everyone should love her. :)

anywhoo, i'm pretty tired and i gotta wake up mad early so here are some cool pitcherrrrrs that i am currently obsessing over raiiiiiii nowwww. haha, i feel so crazy.

i love her.

i love all things plaid.

i would love to have a tea party with my friends.

i would love to be this girl.

i love her.

i love her face in this picture.

i love how it's only focused on her.

i love the dreaminess of the picture.

i love freja.

the end.

GOODNIGHT.

a mess.

today i hit rock bottom. i spent the majority of the day crying in front of random people i don't even know. dissolved into tears in the student aid office, student account office, outside of the financial aid building, in the hallway before i got to talk to my professor, and then finally in his office.

it was especially embarrassing when i ran into a classmate and he asked me if i was alright and i wailed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO." I couldn't keep myself together. i'm so lame.

i'm just fed up. i'm tired of everything just not working out. i quit pursuing fashion, i gave up on all my dreams that i had when i was in college, i decided that i wanted to teach after west philly missions, took a heck of a long time to get there, and finally got into grad school (oh my bad, 5th year undergrad. screw you financial aid). and now this? come on.

i know that everything happens for a reason and we learn from everything, but honestly, i'm waiting for everything to come together because i can't seem to figure out the reasons for things. i probably don't make any sense, but whatever. nothing ever does make any sense does it.

jason took me to eat at panera today and while i was digging into my broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl, i looked up and saw two girls posing for a picture and making funny faces. i felt like carrie from sex and the city when she's in france and she stares into the restaurant watching four girls laughing, having a good time. she missed her friends in new york. i miss my youth and not having a care in the world. i miss just being able to laugh with my friends without having this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. i miss it all.

i keep myself happy by looking at pretty pictures. here are some pictures from weheartit that makes me happy.

i really wish i had red hair.

this makes me feel.... i can't even explain. i love this.

these girls look so happy and carefree (and real skinny).

sigh.

i want to go thrifting here. i love this.

i just really like this haha. i don't know why.

sigh.

:)

this picture makes me so happy. i love books. i love grassy fields. the boy looks so peaceful flying his kite.

"I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again."

the end.

sulking sally? sulking sunnie.

you know, sometimes life seems so unfair.

when everything feels like it's coming together and you feel all comfortable with your life, that's when schiza really starts to hit the ceilings. i'm all like, "ho ho hum, my life is going swell!" and then i blink and my life is crumpled up into pieces, scattered all over the floor.

okay fine, maybe i'm being way too dramatic (probably because i'm pmsing HARDCORE), but that's besides the point. i can be over dramatic if i want to. and honestly, okay i'm young, i'm only 23, i still have a lot of time to figure out my life, but SERIOUSLY though?! I still want to get my life started. I don't care if I seem young to you. This is my life and it's really time for it to get going.

times like these make me want to go into hibernation and hide from the world. i just want to eat, put on some really warm pjs and socks, cuddle up in my most comfortable bed and blankets, either watch old school movies like little women or anne of green gables, and maybe even pull out a good cheesy romance book or something. i just want to be away from people. i don't even know. i'm so lame. this is sooooo lame.






but then i have to remember that everything happens for a reason. everything will work out the way it's supposed to work out.


i haven't gotten to that point yet though... so for now, i think i might sulk for a little bit more.

a bunch of complaints.

i feel ugly. i feel fat. i feel as if i'm always constantly preparing for things. i feel like i never get a break. i feel lonely. i feel nothing. i feel bothered. i feel like punching somebody in the face. i feel unhealthy. i feel as if i should go exercise. i feel as if i'd rather like to get more sleep than exercise. i feel worthless. i feel pointless. i feel angry. i feel sad. i feel like i don't want to be nice anymore. i feel sensitive. i feel hurt when people call me sensitive. i feel weak. i feel like i hate feeling weak. i feel unsure. i feel unsure about everything. i feel like i'm wasting away my life. i feel like i'm 80 when in reality i'm only 23. i feel burnt out. i feel like i need to drop something. i feel sad when i let other people down. i feel as if i'm spelling the word "feel" wrong because i'm looking at it so much right now. i feel annoyed. i feel unloved. i feel like i hate everyone and everything. i feel like i need God. i feel like i want to just rot in my own misery. I FEEL SO FED UP.


i didn't want to complain to a person because this is all embarrassing, but it sure did feel good writing all of this out. i'm not even going to put this post on private because i'm not really a private person. what you see is what you get.

even though i have all of these negative feelings that are pretty much a huge list of complaints, at least i'm alive. at least i have a home. at least i have a car to take me around to my jobs. at least i have a job! TWO JOBS! at least my student loans worked out so i can go to school. at least i can see, hear, have all my limbs, and can speak. at least i have a computer to work on. at least i'm not starving everyday. at least i've been given lovely weather to run outside. at least i have a bed to sleep on. at least i have a boyfriend who loves me very much. at least i have family and friends who care about me. at least i have clothes (maybe a little too much at that). at least i have a Father who loves me no matter how badly i feel.



im a bunch of complaints these days, but at least.. at least. at least.

madewell for alexa chung wannabe

soooooooo in honor of my previous post........

i did an outfit post (finalllyy) inspired by alexa chung for madewell!! wooo hooo haha. i don't really have any creative places to take pictures and my camera sucks (i'd do anything for a dslr.. sigh), but i tried my best haha. so i found this velvet crushed dress at goodwill and it was down to my ankles and i looked like morticia addams. thankfully, jason's mom hemmed my dress, but i measured it too short so it's right under my butt cheeks. oh well. i have yet to wear it because it kind of smells like cats all over an old grandma even though i washed it 5 times and even got it dry cleaned. the boob part looks kinda weird too, buttttttt I LOVES IT! hahaha. i wore it with my american apparel lawn collared shirt and aa bamboo tights in cranberry or was it maroon. who knows, who cares. i can never run away from aa. BLAH. also, i love my shoessssssssss! you can't really see them, but i got them at a thrift store for 3 bucks in the men's section when i was with soo, eunji, and jason. my lovessssss.

here are some pics.

my stupid psycho dog decided to be in my pictures. he bit me on the hand when i tried to pick him up. -_-

i look kind of scary with my nostrils flared and all. or maybe that's their normal size....... and look at my DD chest! i've always wanted big boobs.

this was taken accidentally when i was trying to run to take the picture in time. i kinda like it. i tried to take more "accidental" pictures like this... but the real one only turned out well. haha.

YAY. the end.