Thursday, September 23, 2010

a bunch of complaints.

i feel ugly. i feel fat. i feel as if i'm always constantly preparing for things. i feel like i never get a break. i feel lonely. i feel nothing. i feel bothered. i feel like punching somebody in the face. i feel unhealthy. i feel as if i should go exercise. i feel as if i'd rather like to get more sleep than exercise. i feel worthless. i feel pointless. i feel angry. i feel sad. i feel like i don't want to be nice anymore. i feel sensitive. i feel hurt when people call me sensitive. i feel weak. i feel like i hate feeling weak. i feel unsure. i feel unsure about everything. i feel like i'm wasting away my life. i feel like i'm 80 when in reality i'm only 23. i feel burnt out. i feel like i need to drop something. i feel sad when i let other people down. i feel as if i'm spelling the word "feel" wrong because i'm looking at it so much right now. i feel annoyed. i feel unloved. i feel like i hate everyone and everything. i feel like i need God. i feel like i want to just rot in my own misery. I FEEL SO FED UP.


i didn't want to complain to a person because this is all embarrassing, but it sure did feel good writing all of this out. i'm not even going to put this post on private because i'm not really a private person. what you see is what you get.

even though i have all of these negative feelings that are pretty much a huge list of complaints, at least i'm alive. at least i have a home. at least i have a car to take me around to my jobs. at least i have a job! TWO JOBS! at least my student loans worked out so i can go to school. at least i can see, hear, have all my limbs, and can speak. at least i have a computer to work on. at least i'm not starving everyday. at least i've been given lovely weather to run outside. at least i have a bed to sleep on. at least i have a boyfriend who loves me very much. at least i have family and friends who care about me. at least i have clothes (maybe a little too much at that). at least i have a Father who loves me no matter how badly i feel.



im a bunch of complaints these days, but at least.. at least. at least.

Friday, September 17, 2010

madewell for alexa chung wannabe

soooooooo in honor of my previous post........

i did an outfit post (finalllyy) inspired by alexa chung for madewell!! wooo hooo haha. i don't really have any creative places to take pictures and my camera sucks (i'd do anything for a dslr.. sigh), but i tried my best haha. so i found this velvet crushed dress at goodwill and it was down to my ankles and i looked like morticia addams. thankfully, jason's mom hemmed my dress, but i measured it too short so it's right under my butt cheeks. oh well. i have yet to wear it because it kind of smells like cats all over an old grandma even though i washed it 5 times and even got it dry cleaned. the boob part looks kinda weird too, buttttttt I LOVES IT! hahaha. i wore it with my american apparel lawn collared shirt and aa bamboo tights in cranberry or was it maroon. who knows, who cares. i can never run away from aa. BLAH. also, i love my shoessssssssss! you can't really see them, but i got them at a thrift store for 3 bucks in the men's section when i was with soo, eunji, and jason. my lovessssss.

here are some pics.


my stupid psycho dog decided to be in my pictures. he bit me on the hand when i tried to pick him up. -_-






i look kind of scary with my nostrils flared and all. or maybe that's their normal size....... and look at my DD chest! i've always wanted big boobs.




this was taken accidentally when i was trying to run to take the picture in time. i kinda like it. i tried to take more "accidental" pictures like this... but the real one only turned out well. haha.

YAY. the end.

hmm.

it's already been a week since i posted and i really want to keep up with my postings. it's just so hard since i'm so busy lately. butttttttt.....

I FINALLY HAVE A DAY OFFFFFFFFF!!!

what will i do?!?!?! i shall take a nice long shower, dress up in ANYTHING I WANT (not all american apparel thank goodness), maybe wear some LIPSTICK, maybe even do an outfit post that i haven't done in AGES, go to barnes and noble and smell every individual book, and i really want to go to panera and buy my favorite greek salad and broccoli and cheddar soup in a bread bowl, but i might not have time. and FINALLY, i get to see my boyfriend today. :)

I just wanted to share a couple of looks from Alexa Chung's line from madewell that i ever so want. i just wish everything wasn't so expensive. i want the tennessee velvet dress with all my heart right now. if only it wasn't 168 buckarooooooos. :(

so here it is. all of the pictures were taken from various google images online:


gahhhhhhh.


haha, i want that overall mini skirt so bad...




that velvet dress and those overalls... sighh.





gimme gimme gimmeeeeeeeeeeeee.



THE END!

Friday, September 10, 2010

asos for fall.

i've been crazy inspired lately by so many different blogs. after seeing the asos fall 2010 collection, i've been plotting to rob a bank or something to try and fill my bank account with lots of monies. haha, but sadly i can't rob a bank because i don't want to be in jail forever. SO! i guess it'll only be eye candy for now unless i can find some of these pieces while thrifting perhapppppps. but anyway! here are some pictures of the collection and please feel free to droooooooooooool. every single time i look at these pictures i smile. i wish i could dress up like i want to, but i gotta wear all american apparel most of the days in the week. oh welll.
















(photos souvenirsofagirl.blogspot.com)

i'm so excited for fallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I need some moniesssss!!! BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

break.

so tired and busy these days.


mom and pops. throw me a fricken bone here. i need a break. please.




"For once in your life leave me alone"
-Elizabeth Bennet.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

fall cleaning.

i need to do some mayjah fall cleaning up in my rooooom. i need to get rid of at least half of my wardrobe and this needs to be done FAST. too bad i'm either working or going to class........

i think i might have some kind of end of the summer garage sale. nobody would come which means that i would keep all my clothes. :)




ughhhh. i need to learn how to let go. i can't take my clothes when i die. BLAH! i'm tired and this entry was kinda pointless. rawrrr.