i feel ugly. i feel fat. i feel as if i'm always constantly preparing for things. i feel like i never get a break. i feel lonely. i feel nothing. i feel bothered. i feel like punching somebody in the face. i feel unhealthy. i feel as if i should go exercise. i feel as if i'd rather like to get more sleep than exercise. i feel worthless. i feel pointless. i feel angry. i feel sad. i feel like i don't want to be nice anymore. i feel sensitive. i feel hurt when people call me sensitive. i feel weak. i feel like i hate feeling weak. i feel unsure. i feel unsure about everything. i feel like i'm wasting away my life. i feel like i'm 80 when in reality i'm only 23. i feel burnt out. i feel like i need to drop something. i feel sad when i let other people down. i feel as if i'm spelling the word "feel" wrong because i'm looking at it so much right now. i feel annoyed. i feel unloved. i feel like i hate everyone and everything. i feel like i need God. i feel like i want to just rot in my own misery. I FEEL SO FED UP.
i didn't want to complain to a person because this is all embarrassing, but it sure did feel good writing all of this out. i'm not even going to put this post on private because i'm not really a private person. what you see is what you get.
even though i have all of these negative feelings that are pretty much a huge list of complaints, at least i'm alive. at least i have a home. at least i have a car to take me around to my jobs. at least i have a job! TWO JOBS! at least my student loans worked out so i can go to school. at least i can see, hear, have all my limbs, and can speak. at least i have a computer to work on. at least i'm not starving everyday. at least i've been given lovely weather to run outside. at least i have a bed to sleep on. at least i have a boyfriend who loves me very much. at least i have family and friends who care about me. at least i have clothes (maybe a little too much at that). at least i have a Father who loves me no matter how badly i feel.
im a bunch of complaints these days, but at least.. at least. at least.
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2 comments:
sunnie!! yes i cannot wait to see you soon for our wednesday dates!! =) i love our discussions, our shared meals (or five...in one sitting), and laughing our asses off together.
oh and i suck at commenting but know that i always keep up with your posts lil lady ^^; there's that at least. hehehe =P
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