halloween.

can i just tell you that i've never really minded halloween. i used to love it. i used to go trick or treating until high school HAHA. i went to blue bell country club where all the ballas at. we used to get king sized chocolate bars from all those rich folk. AHH good times.

i am sad to report that halloween has become the most hated holiday for me. i think after working retail for so long, i'm so done with people. i hate that people think american apparel is a halloween store. haha. i mean, we get lots of customers and we be making the monies, but COME ON. so many people are like, "HEY, where are your wonderwoman costumes?" today i told this girl, "well, we're not a halloween store, so we don't have a one piece wonderwoman outfit for ya, but we do have..." she was shocked that we didn't have actual legit costumes. AMERICAN APPAREL ISN'T A HALLOWEEN STORE. holy MAJOLES!

HAHA so that's the end of my story. I was going to make my post all cynical and bitter like they normally are, but i actually lost one of my 12 followers... probs cause i'm so depressed all the time. HAHAHA. now i'm down to 11 and they are all friends. :) pahaa.

anyway, so i'm going in to work on saturday from 2-10ish and we get to go in costumes as long as they are tasteful. i was just going to be boring and be a plain jane ballerina, but i changed my MINDDDD. i'm gonna be morticia addams!!

i was gonna go with more of a deep purple/black lipstick, but red is my true love.

YAYY!

i'm gonna go crazy with the make up around the eyes and red lipstick muheahahehaehehahehahaehaheah!

okay bye.

some musics.

alright this girl is foreal a bit weird... but she has a killa killem voice!!



and i just love this song. hahah.



That's all for now. sorry for the depressing posts recently. hohohohehahahahefefeafafa!

blech.

i hate the world right now. i hate it.



i'm so emo. what in the world.

take me far far away.

okay, i know i just posted something, but i'm just too obsessed with my new and improved blog (thanks to hannie woo) that i wanted to post again. HAHA. i'm so kewl on a friday nightttttt. afterwards, i will probs go through my entire wardrobe and try on clothes because i'm so hip hoppin. and then i'll get tired and fall asleep leaving my room a mess! i lead such an uneventful life. whatevs skanevvvvs.

so, i suddenly had an urge to go somewhere special. i want to take a crazy vacay somewhere i've always wanted to go to. sighhhh so i proceeded to look up some google images of switzerland, ireland, paris, and greece. HAHA. i saved some special ones and i promise you someday, i WILL go and experience everything myself.

sighh. paris, france.

fraaaaaaaaaance.

some village in switzerland. sighh.

switzerland i die.

greece. i want to swim in that water... kinda. not really. but still sooo pretty. i wonder if there are shark infested waters there..... hmmm.

i love you greece. one day. you will be mine.

all mine.

town in ireland.

UGH I WANT TO BE HERE SO BAD.

one day i will prance around in this exact area in ireland wearing a floral dress and a granny sweater while laughing at life. oh one day i shallllllllll.

time to go through my clothes now. my life is so exciting!

ugh.

ughhhhhh. ughhh. ughhh. ugh.

i'm feeling so bothered lately. i think i really hate change. i think that's it. i don't like when people enter my safe zone when they are not wanted. blechhhhhh. i feel so irritated. it would've been good if i went to small group today.......


i think i'm really overprotected over my friends. i don't like when they make other friends. HAHA. so selfish i know. and my friends don't even act like my friends anyway. i always get ignored (not on purpose, but ignored nonetheless), they forget to include me in things, and now i'm known as jason's girlfriend. it's not like i went to college with everyone and spent 4 long years together with everyone. yup, i guess that didn't happen. they just have to pass on the info to jason and somehow, somewhere it'll get to me. that's not how things work. i'm my own person dammit! I am! ha. anywhoo.

this is what i get for being only friends with guys. so it's really my fault anyway. maybe i should move to a different city and start fresh? haha. i don't even know what i'm talking about. i don't even care. because when it comes down to it.. even if i push myself away from them, i guess they'll always be considered my friends. whatever. nobody's coming to my wedding. HAHA.

i'm such a sourpuss lately so i suggest everyone should just stay away from me.

some pitchers (photo credit: weheartit):

whooo boy.

yeah she needs to eat a burger.. but i loves her.

kelly osbourne with dusty rose hair. i wish i could do this to mine.

models make me happy.

abby lee street style. she's so cute.

leo dicaprio circa romeo and juliet. the only time i was obsessed with him.

i love.

why couldn't you have stayed like this forever.

i will marry him. no questions asked.

hahah remember this?! I used to watch this show all the time when i was younger. HAHA.

and now i will play with desi unnie and baby dylan. goodbye.

masta woo.

so let me just tell you how awesome hannie woo is because she always revamps my blog. i love her. everyone should love her. :)

anywhoo, i'm pretty tired and i gotta wake up mad early so here are some cool pitcherrrrrs that i am currently obsessing over raiiiiiii nowwww. haha, i feel so crazy.

i love her.

i love all things plaid.

i would love to have a tea party with my friends.

i would love to be this girl.

i love her.

i love her face in this picture.

i love how it's only focused on her.

i love the dreaminess of the picture.

i love freja.

the end.

GOODNIGHT.

a mess.

today i hit rock bottom. i spent the majority of the day crying in front of random people i don't even know. dissolved into tears in the student aid office, student account office, outside of the financial aid building, in the hallway before i got to talk to my professor, and then finally in his office.

it was especially embarrassing when i ran into a classmate and he asked me if i was alright and i wailed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO." I couldn't keep myself together. i'm so lame.

i'm just fed up. i'm tired of everything just not working out. i quit pursuing fashion, i gave up on all my dreams that i had when i was in college, i decided that i wanted to teach after west philly missions, took a heck of a long time to get there, and finally got into grad school (oh my bad, 5th year undergrad. screw you financial aid). and now this? come on.

i know that everything happens for a reason and we learn from everything, but honestly, i'm waiting for everything to come together because i can't seem to figure out the reasons for things. i probably don't make any sense, but whatever. nothing ever does make any sense does it.

jason took me to eat at panera today and while i was digging into my broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl, i looked up and saw two girls posing for a picture and making funny faces. i felt like carrie from sex and the city when she's in france and she stares into the restaurant watching four girls laughing, having a good time. she missed her friends in new york. i miss my youth and not having a care in the world. i miss just being able to laugh with my friends without having this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. i miss it all.

i keep myself happy by looking at pretty pictures. here are some pictures from weheartit that makes me happy.

i really wish i had red hair.

this makes me feel.... i can't even explain. i love this.

these girls look so happy and carefree (and real skinny).

sigh.

i want to go thrifting here. i love this.

i just really like this haha. i don't know why.

sigh.

:)

this picture makes me so happy. i love books. i love grassy fields. the boy looks so peaceful flying his kite.

"I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again."

the end.

sulking sally? sulking sunnie.

you know, sometimes life seems so unfair.

when everything feels like it's coming together and you feel all comfortable with your life, that's when schiza really starts to hit the ceilings. i'm all like, "ho ho hum, my life is going swell!" and then i blink and my life is crumpled up into pieces, scattered all over the floor.

okay fine, maybe i'm being way too dramatic (probably because i'm pmsing HARDCORE), but that's besides the point. i can be over dramatic if i want to. and honestly, okay i'm young, i'm only 23, i still have a lot of time to figure out my life, but SERIOUSLY though?! I still want to get my life started. I don't care if I seem young to you. This is my life and it's really time for it to get going.

times like these make me want to go into hibernation and hide from the world. i just want to eat, put on some really warm pjs and socks, cuddle up in my most comfortable bed and blankets, either watch old school movies like little women or anne of green gables, and maybe even pull out a good cheesy romance book or something. i just want to be away from people. i don't even know. i'm so lame. this is sooooo lame.






but then i have to remember that everything happens for a reason. everything will work out the way it's supposed to work out.


i haven't gotten to that point yet though... so for now, i think i might sulk for a little bit more.