wasted years.

yeah i'm pretty angry. angry? upset? disappointed? whatever. i'm all of the above. why you may ask? probably because i feel dumb. i feel stupid because of all the years that i invested and apparently wasted with certain people.

since nobody reads this, i'll just say things loud and clear. and if people do read this and this pertains to them, then good for you because you probably wouldn't have even noticed until something like this is thrown into your face. people might think i'm a coward for not maning up and confronting people with the issue, but honestly, it's time for those people to grow up. i've been coming to you guys with specific issues because you are all blind to even notice. so this time, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, i'm not going to bring the problems up. i'll just vent on my blog even though i promised myself that i never would.... but WHATEVER. i'm a rebel. breaking all the rules now. woo. hoo.

it really hurts. it really hurts to know that after two years nobody has even asked me about it. they only know what they see. it hurts to know how much i love, but don't seem to get the same response back. it hurts to see all the time i devoted being washed down the drain. it hurts to hear that everyone says that they won't take sides, but it's clear that sides have been chosen since day one.

it sucks that in a group of all guys, the girl always has to be blamed. it sucks. and i'm just simply tired of it. i wasted time. i wasted years. but i guess God gave us every situation for a reason. i know that He doesn't want me to be angry, but for now, i just want to be. i want to be mad because none of them are understanding.





sighh. God, can i be mad for a few days longer? i know you don't want me to be. i know you want me to forgive. but maybe just a few more days?