frustrated.

warning: this post is a bit on the majorly depressing side. sorry.

i am so completely and utterly frustrated with life right now. i'm 24 and i'm swimming in a never ending ocean of debt, can't even afford to buy my own food, and i cry when i see things online that i want and know that i can never have. sometimes i wish i had parents that could support me financially, but then i think about so many spoiled people i know and i regret that wish immediately.

it's just that... i've been saying this for the past like almost three years ever since i graduated college. can't somebody just throw me a freaking bone once in awhile? does life always have to be this hard and frustrating? can't i have a little break between the hard times every now and then?

i've been so angry and monstrous lately... it's getting out of control. i have to work out everyday to control my anger and even exercising doesn't calm my mind and heart. i've been memorizing bible verses and every time i feel like my anger is going to be unleashed, i quickly say the words to calm myself. it has been working so far. :)

sometimes i just want to quit everything and everyone and move on. move on to a place where i am free to do as i please. honestly, that place doesn't exist on earth. so, i just gotta work hard at it until i make it to heaven.